I Don't Know, But I've Been Told...

Recently I received the same request from two friends who don’t know each other. Seeing on Face Book that my religious views are “agnostic but open,“ they asked that I read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. One added The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel and even brought me a copy. I am glad I have friends of such sincerity, and I read both books. With very different approaches, each author promotes serious thought and offers profound argument for the spiritual and physical reality of Jesus.

I found each book persuasive yet not motivating. All their truths were rules for a sport in which I was not – I am not - a player. I gave some serious thought to what sport I do play in this context, and what truths I have instead of the ones for which Lewis and Stobler argue so well.

Start with the truth that if God wants you to tell you something, you are going to get the message. There was Saul, who set off for to Damascus to kill Christians and arrived as Paul the Apostle. There was the Baptist preacher who showed me where he stood in the middle of US Highway 61, drunk out of his mind one Saturday night, when suddenly he got the message that he needed to start living a very different life. Neither of these men was open, interested or cooperative, but they got their messages.

Next truth: God is infinite and we are not. We tend to think of infinite as “real big” like the national debt. Nope. Big is zero compared to infinite, which means limitless, no boundaries, all things to all people, world without end, amen.

As finite beings we see through a glass darkly. Yahweh, Vishnu, Zeus, the Great Spirit are all attempts to understand an infinite God within our finite limitations. We are like church mice trying to understand hearing the Hallelujah Chorus on Easter Sunday. God extends beyond any of our limited perceptions, and encompasses all of them. As Dirty Harry said, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Knowing mine I can’t imagine that this infinite God appears to mankind only according to my particular limited way of understanding, and never according to any other limited way of understanding. Of all the imperfect perceptions of God mine is the only one approved by management? No way.

It seems more likely to me that an infinite God gives many different messages to many different people, guiding them toward many different ways of understanding. All limited, all imperfect, all divinely given. Have you have gotten the message that you should accept Jesus as your savior? I think it’s probably arrogant, if not outright dangerous, to do otherwise. Have you been told to witness for Christ? Then God may want to speak to someone through you – maybe by asking them to read a book. An infinite God can tell anybody anything in any way that suits.

I got my message one day when two young Mormons came to my door and I invited them in to talk for a while. One of them had been a submariner in the Navy, where he did a lot of complicated things with valves and switches. He never knew where they were going or why, the captain told him only what he needed to know to do his job. Somewhere in there, one of the three of us uttered the phrase “I’ll tell you what you need to know.”

So: Two strangers came to my house with the express purpose of addressing my religious beliefs. Nobody but me ever saw them or knew they were there. They left and I never saw them again. Out of two hours conversation I remember only a single sentence: “I’ll tell you what you need to know.” A message from God? Anything in any way that suits. I’ve concluded, over years of pondering, that I’ve been told it’s not for me to seek messages or worry about being saved. If at some point I’m supposed to accept Jesus as my savior, I’ll be told that. Maybe I’ll be told to give all my belongings to the poor, like the rich young ruler described by Matthew, Mark and Luke. Until then I only need to worry about doing what I’ve been told up to now, because that is all I need to know.

So what have I been told? This didn’t come to me in a visit from two strangers, or any other single event. It has just taken shape slowly, from uncounted thoughts and experiences that all boil down to “Love one another.” I know, grammatically it should be “Love others” or “Love thy neighbor” but “Love one another” is the phrase that flashes into my awareness daily. Often hourly. Always reminding me to ask , “Am I loving? What would I be doing different if I really were loving?”

More than once in those years, I’ve been down on my knees, saying out loud “If you want to tell me something or come to me in any way then I‘m ready, I’m open. I’m about at my limit, and I need help.” I’ve been half afraid and half hopeful, but it hasn’t mattered. It seems I don’t yet need to be told more, and until I do I’m supposed to act on my own judgment. I hear people speak of their joy and rapport with their perception of God, and I believe they’re sincere. I don’t feel that nor expect to; apparently it’s within my limitations to carry on without it.

Come Be My Light, the published writing of Mother Theresa, reveals that throughout her selfless life in India, she was completely cut off from God. There was no guidance, no joy, no union of spirit, nothing. She believed that God had abandoned her to fulfill the mission toward which she was guided in their last communication. I understood exactly what she was describing, and her experience was very reassuring. I mean, if God went radio silent on Mother Theresa and left her to carry on incommunicado...well it doesn’t seem so bad going down my own much easier road without coaching.

Like my naval Mormon visitor, I can concentrate on the valves and switches, and not worry about where the boat is going or why. I’ve been told “Love One Another” until further instructions. God will do the steering. That’s kind of a relief because most days it takes all my attention and energy just to figure out what loving means right then and there, never mind actually doing whatever it is.

Credits:

1) The image "Infinity" is from www.sgeier.net/fractals, where a very interesting artist shares some incredibly beautiful work.

2) This entire post contains no gender-specific references to God, which I thought deserved some credit.