Hades Behind a Palin Horse

What you're about to read is very serious. Seriously. You be the judge.

First, for those of you trying to recall the “pale horse” reference in the title, it’s from Revelations 6:8. I heartily recommend http://www.biblegateway.com as a resource to verify scriptural references and wording.

John McCain has demonstrated courage, integrity and patriotism beyond the ability of any human being to question. If he were a Democrat, Karl Rove himself would not dare to challenge him on those traits. (That could be funny for several reasons, but I’m still serious.) No other presidential candidate except George Washington has demonstrated these traits so indisputably, and he is the only candidate I admire more that McCain for such demonstration. Obama will never demonstrate these traits to the degree McCain has. Whatever you think of Obama he simply will never have the opportunity to achieve the nobility that McCain lived out on the filthy floor of the Hanoi Hilton.

Courage, integrity, and patriotism demand that you choose a vice presidential candidate who, to the best of your judgment, will be an excellent president should you become unavailable. Of course, every candidate since the 12th Amendment made it a choice has chosen, instead, whatever VP candidate will bring the most votes to the ticket. Their courage, integrity and patriotism demand getting elected. It’s OK to risk sticking the nation with a question mark as president, just as long as he or she is a popular question mark. Obama is a fortunate exception. His ability is challenged so extensively that choosing a VP with presidential abilities and getting more votes are one and the same. (No, still not joking.)

Whatever you, I or anybody else thinks of Sarah Palin, there is one thing that nobody can think of her. She is not, out of all the choices available to McCain, the person likely above all others to be an outstanding president in his absence. There is no doubt whatsoever that he handed the nation a question mark because he thought it would get him more votes.

I don’t know how to reconcile the John McCain who chose Sarah Palin with the John McCain I consider second only to George Washington in his demonstration of courage, integrity and patriotism. People do change. If the McCain running for president is no longer the McCain of the Hanoi Hilton, that scares me worse than anything you can tell me about Sarah Palin.

OK, the seriousness warning is now suspended. It might scare me worse if Palin were, to paraphrase a former governor of Louisiana, “…caught in bed with a live girl or a dead boy.” Perhaps you saw the recent headline “Edwards admits affair, denies paternity.”
Do you know that my first reaction was “Incredible! The guy is in prison and 81 years old. How does he have the opportunity or the energy?” Then I realized they were talking about John, not Edwin.
Some of you didn’t live in Louisiana in the last thirty years of the 20th century, and therefore missed out on the ultimate unification of politics and entertainment in the person of Edwin Edwards. I recommend “The Last Hayride” by John Maginnis

With apologies to Matt Damon, the actuarial odds don’t seem to be 1 in 3 that McCain will kick the bucket (or hand it to Sarah) before the end of one term. I’ve seen estimates all the way from 9% to 33% that an average guy of his age will die of natural causes by then. It all depends on the assumptions you make, but who cares? Whatever he is he is NOT an average guy.

Eight presidents have died in office, by the way; four or five of them by assassination. (There’s some dispute about Harding.) The three who definitely died of natural causes were all 63-68 years of age. Since MCain is older than 68, a simple experience-based estimate yields a zero probability of him dying in office, excluding foul play. Oddly, this is unaffected if he loses the election – there will still be a zero probability of his dying in office.

A note to the women of our country: all great ideas have their time. Be grateful that Bill Clinton didn’t choose a young, good looking woman as his running mate.

Frogs, Rice, Sarah Palin and Shoeboxes

Get a ten-pound bag of rice. Find a frog. Dump the rice on top of the frog. Imagine you are the frog and each grain of rice is a news item about Sarah Palin. Be comforted as the frog shares your pain. Misery loves company, even if the best you can do is a frog buried in rice

One grain of rice that stuck in my eye was a Newsweek column by a definite liberal who says she really likes Palin. She almost swoons over this vision: "Palin, BlackBerry in one hand, Red Bull in the other, checked her messages as she crossed the street, seemingly oblivious to her youngest daughter, Piper, who trailed along behind her, jumping rope in the crosswalk." She continues, "Now that's my kind of working mom..."
Link

I don't feel good about the conservative family values demonstrated by ignoring your (then) five year old daughter while crossing the street. I also have an urge to take a big dose of liberal laxative and purge myself of any agreement with somebody who thinks that is their ideal working mom. Any paparazzi could have caught me in moments like this with my kids, but Newsweek wouldn't have run the picture as any body's ideal working dad.
The whole thing is meaningless; it just left me feeling kind of yucky. As if I found out Karl Rove is a Boy Scout leader or something.


You have to be really smart to figure out why McCain picked Palin as a running partner. It boils down to this: on Inauguration Day 2009 McCain will be 26,442 days old which added to Palin's 16,145 days will make a total of 42,857. Now let's go back and look at June 15, 1906 which was 42,191 days before their prospective inauguration.

First: On that day a species of foreign parasite insect was found on some tea flowers in Massachusetts; even then a hotbed of liberalism. This little pioneer of illegal aliens was described as "posterior metatarsi very broad...genitalia prominent...length, 2.5 mm. Disturbing? I thought so, too.
Link

Second: That day was the earliest recorded Pentecostal religious experience in Los Angeles. Mr. Frank Bartleman wrote that the event "...seemed to still criticism and opposition, and was hard for even wicked men to gainsay or ridicule." Powerful! Especially realizing that "Brother Seymour generally sat behind two empty shoe boxes, one on top of the other. He usually kept his head inside the top one during the meeting, in prayer. There was no pride there."
Link

So on Inauguration Day -- exactly 42,191 days after these two symbolic events -- McCain and Palin will have accumulated 42,857 combined days of life experience. If you subtract 42,191 from 42,857, you know what you get?

666, that's what you get!

Coincidence? Go find Osama Bin Laden and try to convince him that's coincidence! Just realize it's going to take you seven years, and it won't matter at all. Not if you believe me and the President. So stay proud! Hold your head high whether it's in a shoebox or any other dark place!

The really yucky thing is realizing that Sarah Palin was born in my senior year of high school. That's like finding out that Karl Rove is a Girl Scout leader.

Accrued Knowledge of Economics

McCain is getting beat up for saying he doesn't understand economics. Another case of punishment for telling the truth?

Apparently Obama wants to demonstrate his ignorance. He plans to windfall-tax the oil companies and give the public $1,000 bucks per head to help buy gasoline. which will continue to cost more as petroleum demand overwhelms supply. This tax will 2) reduce dividends to shareholders so he can give some of their money back and 3) take money away from drilling holes to get more oil. So he wants to take money away from increasing supply and use it to increase demand. This is as dumb as McCain's support of the "gas tax holiday." Approximately.

What, you were thinking if we raise oil company taxes it will 1) reduce excessive CEO salaries? Has the Tooth Fairy been to your place lately?

Both McCain and Obama want to curb salaries of CEOs who get rich while screwing up. I wonder how? These are publicly owned corporations, structured under the laws of the United States and whatever state they are chartered in. Their directors are elected by shareholders under a legally monitored process and are legally charged with certain duties, including setting the pay package for the CEO.
If a CEO screws up, do we take back his pay? Will the directors of the company be punished? If so does that mean the voters should be punished if a politician screws up? All of them, or just the ones who voted for him or her? How about the ones who didn't vote? Maybe they should be rewarded; say by splitting the politician's left over campaign funds.
Who gets to define "screwing up?" After all, thirty per cent of the country thinks W is a successful president.

Both candidates are demonizing "speculators," also known as "investors." Either term means a person who buys something hoping to sell it for more than they paid. This happens for GM stock, crude oil, corn, pork bellies and U.S. Treasury bonds. People who do this include you, me, our retirement fund managers, and every seller on eBay. If somebody wants to bid $15 for GM stock thinking it will go up to $20, exactly how are we going to make that against the rules?

"Speculators" are bad, it seems, because they just buy and sell. They buy and sell crude oil, for example, without refining it. Does every GM stock holder make cars? Are we going to change the rules so that only refiners can buy crude oil and only farmers can buy corn?

Beats me. Just drive safe. And far -- remember I'm retired from the petrochemical industry.

Blogging, Bashing, and Talking Points

I've gotten a gratifying number of emails from people telling me how much they look forward to reading my posts. One person has subscribed. Draw your own conclusions.

I'm working off backlog right now; this daily posting business won't continue.

I get a a constant stream of funny and/or fictitious emails bashing the Democrats and Obama, and almost none bashing the Republicans and McCain. I can only conclude that liberals are such sourpusses that they can't see the humor in things, and so unimaginative that they can't make up any interesting lies. Do you want people like that running the country?

Which reminds me; below is a set of talking points for a presidential candidate. Guess which one.

TALKING POINTS

• I am a candidate for the Presidency of the United States.
• I was born to very poor parents and was raised by only one of them. My achievements today are my own, and I believe that the experiences of my childhood and youth give me insight to the needs and beliefs of the people of our nation.
• Our nation has serious problems. We are as divided against each other as I have ever seen us.
• Our military is consumed in a war against a foe that wears no uniform, recruits from diverse regions, and is perfectly willing to attack non-military targets wherever they can. This foe believes that our whole way of life is hostile to theirs, and if they could they would drive us out of existence.
• I believe that the current administration has done a poor job of executing this war.
• I did not agree with our country’s decision to invade another country. I believe that the underlying motive was our president’s “quest for glory” and that the war was initiated for false reasons. My position made me very unpopular, although many have since come over to my point of view.
• A significant portion of our population consists of under skilled and illiterate people who came here in violation of the laws of one or more countries. Unlike many, I believe that these people should be provided an opportunity to obtain citizenship.
• Many people, especially in the South, find my candidacy troubling because of racial issues.
• I acknowledge that my experience is limited. Much of it is in state government; my time as a national legislator is less than one full Senate term. It is true that I never created legislation of any significance.
• It is also true that I have never served in our nation’s military, nor have I held any executive position other than a not-for profit organization formed to benefit my state and my community. None the less I am proud of that service.
• Many of you are concerned that my policies will severely damage the economic health of our nation.
• I have corresponded with, worked with, and befriended many people who are very angry at our nation and vehemently criticize our government. I do not necessarily agree with their statements or their proposals, but I do acknowledge that their grievances have some merit.
• Despite the controversy and limitations, I ask you to vote for me in the belief that my personal abilities can bring our nation to a new level of achievement and unity. I ask that you vote for me on faith, in the hope I can do this.
• In closing......
  
  

My name is Abraham Lincoln and I am asking you to vote for me as your President in this Year of Our Lord 1860.